I’m not one for ‘thin bashing’. In fact if I’ve learned anything at all from body positivity its that all bodies are subject to impossible beauty stanards. Buuuuut… As a fat person, I have experienced discrimination at the hands of thin people, a lot. So I’ve put together this post to highlight the top three things I wish thin people understood about fat people.
1. Fat People Deserve Respect
I can’t speak for every single fat person on the planet. But I can say that through the body positivity community I’ve met and formed friendships with a lot of fat chicks, and we all have one thing in common; the experience of being disrespected because of our size.
If I had a euro for every time someone has made a disrespectful comment about my weight, well let’s just say my wardrobe would be a lot fuller. Everyone from so called friends to parents, colleagues and even complete strangers have made snide comments to my face in the past.
I was once in a River Island store, perusing for a present for a friend, when a snooty sales assistant marched right over to me, intentionally looked me up and down and said ‘we don’t have your size’.
On another occasion I was in the smoking area of a nightclub when a lad started shouting ‘heffer’ at me at the top of his voice.
These are just two examples taken from well over a dozen that come to mind when I think of being humiliated and disrespected in public places. There are so many more I could choose from.
But I want to know at what point in history did mankind make the apparently unanimous decision that fat people didn’t deserve respect? When did our thinking shift from the idea that all people deserved a basic level of respect, to one which was based on size? And also – where were all the fat people when that decision was being made? Why was it made by thin people? When did thin people decide it was acceptable to treat fat people this way? And why is it still an acceptable form of discrimination when almost all other forms have been outlawed?
Thin person – you don’t need to think I’m beautiful or want to get in my pants. You don’t need to approve of my choices or my life style. But I demand you’re respect, because you have always had mine even though you can be a real asshole!
2. Our Health is None of Your Business
This really gets my goat. Do I walk around with a sign on my head that says, ‘please question me aggressively about my health’? No I bloody well don’t, but it seems that I may as well have one.
There is something about fatness that makes thin people think they have the right to cross a line, a line that they wouldn’t dream of crossing with another thin person. Have you ever heard a thin person ask another thin person if they’re worried about diabetes, or high blood pressure? I certainly haven’t. But these are questions I face regularly.
If you’re answer to this is that the health of fat people costs the state millions every year in hospital care etc., then why don’t we ask thin people about osteoporosis (a very common result of lifelong thinness) or the wide scale and long term joint damage caused by regular running? We don’t question rugby players about the constant trauma they are causing their bodies, do we? We don’t interrogate people as they walk into their local gym about whether or not they’re taking necessary precautions to avoid injury, do we?
No, we do not. And this is because those people aren’t fat. We only feel we have the right to invade a persons privacy and demand extremely personal information about their bodies if they’re fat. But the truth is that my health is none of your business, and yours is none of mine.
Thin person – please stop asking me about my health. Have I ever asked you about yours? Can we just establish some boundaries for Christ’s sake? Or would you like me to start asking how regular your poos are?
3. Don’t Assume We Want Advice
If you’re a fat person, you’ve probably learned to do the smile and nod and raised eyebrows thing every time a person offers you some ‘friendly’ diet advice. It’s a skill we all learn at one point or another, how to appear interested and grateful when a thin person starts preaching to you about how to lose that weight.
The ironic thing is, the thin person usually thinks they’re doing us a massive favour. Because after all, we’re fat so we’re probably stupid and the advice to eat less and move more (on which every single diet/weight loss plan in history is based) will be revolutionary to our poor uneducated and ignorant minds. My eyes are hurting from rolling so much. But the truth is that when this thin person (and let’s face it, only thin people preach about diets) starts raving to us about this diet or that diet, what they’re actually saying is that we need to be different, we need to be more like them.
The person offering the advice does not have our backs. They are not interested in our happiness. They are not concerned about our health (otherwise they’d be asking us about our sleeping pattern, stress level, bowl movements, etc) (also see point 2 – our health is none of their business!!). They are simply telling us to conform.
Advice should only be given when asked for. Is that not a universally known truth? Surely everybody gets that? Apparently not.
Thin person – please stop advising me. I neither want nor need nor appreciate it. And with every piece of unsolicited advice you offer I am edging closer and closer to punching you in the face.
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